Forget the shiny armor, I'm loving my hero in his DIRTY CAMO'S.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Why am I doing this?

So here I am rambling about my thoughts during this deployment. But I never really explained myself for it. I came on this site looking for support and advice. My boyfriend is a Navy Seabee and currently located in Afghanistan.This is his second tour but my first. He left January 4th and was sent to California until 2 weeks ago where he is now overseas. These past 4 months have been difficult yet easy all at the same time. The reason I say this is because we had constant communication. He had his cell phone and would always text or call whenever he had the chance. We even used the webcam a few times when he had a free moment. So it was easy because I knew he was safe and around. Now he is in a foreign country the cell phone has been turned off and we barely get to talk to each other. It's only been 2 weeks and I'm starting to feel it. I miss talking to him and hearing his voice every night. I know I will get through this. It almost feels like you're in a breakup but not because there isn't a burning hurt deep down inside only loneliness. Today was my second overseas phone call. I heard planes flying in the background but it wasn't  just any plane it was the real deal F-14's. That gave me the goosebumps. Reality has finally settled in. He's not in California anymore, it's wartime. His orders state he won't be coming home until next January. I'm proud to say I am almost at the midway of this deployment but at the same time I would like it to be over already. I feel like I've been stuck in the airport waiting for the weather to clear. I am trying to cope with his deployment and other issues. As General Holden on Army Wives said "We are the lucky ones. Soldiers train for their mission but for families their mission is to carry on. How do you train for that?" He couldn't have said it any better. 

1 comment:

ann said...

Hey, Amanda...They say that soldiers are brave and courageous, but so are the loved ones waiting for them at home. You should be very proud of Noel but also of yourself. It takes a lot of courage to wait. You, as well, are very brave. Thoughts and prayers to you.
-Ann