She Who Waits Also Serves

Last night was the first time I found it difficult getting a full eight hours of sleep.I kept putting off the whole "going to bed concept". I've done fine the past 5 months and last night was the first time I tried to fight going to bed. Why you may ask? We talked on the webcam for about 20 minutes until he had to get to work. Just seeing and hearing his voice puts a great big smile on my face. It makes me feel like he is right here with me. But I still long for his touch and the feeling of being complete. Something about the absence of his presence got to me. In the middle of our conversation his internet started getting fuzzy and in a second we lost connection. When I turned around to get into bed it was so hard. I am not sure why it was. I just kept putting the sleep off. I tucked my sheets in and held on tightly to a teddy bear he sent me. Sure it helps but having him not there makes me feel empty at times. That's when I remembered I'm not like any other girlfriend. I'm a military girlfriend. I normally don't like to classify myself, yet here I am. Now preparing myself for another 7 months of deployment and struggling through another month without him. The months are starting to go by quicker. I may not get to see him as often as I like. I may not get to hold him in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, he is the one that I love and I can't let him go. I've been blessed to have someone stand up for me in the face of war without having met them. Now Noel is doing the same for me, my family, our friends and the entire country. Have to tell you it's a completely different feeling. At first I felt selfish for not wanting him to go and at the same time I felt defeated because I had no say if he stayed or not. But now after reading his letters, and seeing pictures of him in Afghanistan it really is incredible and my heart beats so much stronger. I was always proud of him but now I am so much prouder than I was. It's easier to watch the news and know that your man isn't the one fighting out out there, that he'll be home sleeping under the same roof instead of dealing with the pain and fear of him being out in the middle of the desert in a dangerous war. I am thankful for other military wives who have supported their husbands, loved and waited on them so they can protect our country. I'm thankful for their patience and strength that has allowed their men to be fearless and victorious throughout the years. I'm praying that God gives me that same strength, love, patience, and encouragement to get through these tough months. I knew it wouldn't be easy but I know that there is a reason for me to be a military girlfriend. It's going to be it's very own chapter in my journey in life.